True confession-Part 2

He slowly began to tell me that he felt things were getting very intimate between J and I. My heart raced.  He went on to ask if his feelings were correct, while pointing to specifics in the level of intimacy he was seeing. I froze for a minute, wondering how to respond. 

Now what he told me next was something most women would NEVER expect to hear.  He started to confess…. that if indeed he was correct, that it was okay that we were becoming this way with each other.  

He admitted that over time he was hoping it would happen, and felt twisted to think like this. But if he was being true to himself, he knew this was something that needed to be out in the open between us. As he started to get emotional and tear up, he explained he realized he needed me to know having feelings for J was very much ok with him and something that he required to fulfill his true cuckold urges. He explained that watching us enjoy each other was very exciting. But, over time as he observed us getting more passionate, he has been learning something about himself

He asked that if I trusted that his reactions would only ever be that of being turned on, he would love it if I would be comfortable enough to share my deeper thoughts about how J makes me feel and how I feel about him.  Knowing these things would not only help to satisfy him, but also help to make him feel completely mine. 

Is it true?  Have I developed feelings for J?  

Yes I absolutely have. My husband was 100% correct. It’s scary to admit it but I’m absolutely crazy head over heels for J. Not only is he sooo handsome to me but he and I fit together so well in bed. His kisses drive me crazy and just knowing I’m going to see him soon can make me dripping soaking wet.  Forget about when our hands touch.  It’s like serious butterflies in my stomach.  Oh ….he drives me absolutely crazy in all the right ways.  He makes me feel sexy and beautiful and I love the excitement and anticipation of getting to spend time with him.  I most definitely have feelings for him.  My husband could sense it and he was right. 

Now I keep asking myself… is this even normal or ok for me to love my husband to the ends of the earth yet have these crazy feelings of lust, wanting and desire for another man?  How can I love my husband and have feelings for another man like this?  

I do think it’s very much so ok.  What J brings to my life and what he gives me and what I give him, only makes my relationship with my husband even better.  You see, I guess I must be just as twisted because I’ve always been turned on by the idea of being married yet having sex with another married man who loves his wife/family but just isn’t getting what he needs at home. J fits that criteria and then some.  Being able to fulfill a married man’s needs, while still loving and taking care of my husband, is one of the ultimate turn ons for me.  Plus what I have to what I offer to another married man has no strings attached.  It really is a win win situation. 

Honestly if I look back although some of the feelings I’ve had have been all over the board,  it’s been so sexy to have fallen like this for another man right in front of my husbands eyes.  Over the months I’ve thought about this and realized that this experience is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I feel so grateful to be in this position.  The most beautiful part of all of this is the level of understanding and comfort my husband has given me. He truly makes me trust that being open with my deepest, twisted turns on is truly the way to his heart. 

Want to hear a little secret?…. The attention from my husband and J make me feel like a Goddess sometimes.  Ok a lot of times. It’s the best and craziest feeling in the world. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  ❤️